My Failed Best Friendship And What I Learned

I got this idea from an article from The Everygirl, but I think it’s time for me to reflect on my own failed best friendship.

I will admit that I suck at friendships. Sometimes I wonder if I expect too much or if I’m just too needy. Honestly, it’s probably a mixture of both. My failed best friendship came at a time when I needed this best friend the most. I had just returned from college and I was really feeling the post-grad effects. We were best friends in high school but fell out while in college. Now, being back in the same city, I needed her.

When I think about my failed best friendship, I instantly become sad. In my memory floods so many good times. However, there were bad times as well. To this day, it’s like a scar that has healed but hasn’t faded in the slightest. And in little ways, I’m reminded from time to time.

What happened with my failed best friendship was a passionate exchange of animosity, anger, resentment, frustration, and more. All the emotions that we deem as weaknesses or bad emotions.

So, what did I learn?

The Need To Listen. I learned that I need to be a better listener in arguments. Often we listen to respond, but we really need to hear what the person is saying. This is hard for me because I always want to get my point across. However, it’s important to really listen to what the other person is saying, especially during an argument.

Don’t Fight Other People’s Battles. I care so much about my friends whenever I feel like someone has been treated wrong. It’s one of my pet peeves. I absolutely hate seeing other people being treated poorly. This was partially the reason for my failed best friendship. I learned that sometimes other people just don’t want or need you to stick up for them, even if that means they may get hurt in the future.

You’re not always the saint. I noticed that in telling our versions of arguments, we may see ourselves in a more positive light. I only think this is natural as no one wants to be the bad guy in a story. However, I think it’s grounding to bring yourself back and notice that you’re not always the saint. In my failed best friendship, I am sure there were times when I could have done better. Acknowledging and improving yourself using those moments are so important in personal development.

Finding peace with the failure. I’m not sure if I have found peace with the failure. A part of me sometimes wishes that I could speak to them again. However, I learned that sometimes closing the chapter on a failed best friendship could be the best option at the moment. I have a lot going on and I’m sure they do too. Additionally, I think both of us would rather not bring up the drama again. However, sometimes I wish we could reconnect on social media. Even though it’s a failed best friendship, it still doesn’t mean that I care about them any less than before.