On Being The Temporary Friend

On Being The Temporary Friend

I talk a lot about relationships and friendships more than I really should on this blog. However, those are huge parts of many of our lives. Making friends, cultivating relationships, and handling school and work. So, most of the time I find inspiration to write when encountering thoughts or experiences that are relevant to my current routine. Lately, I’ve been thinking about friendships a lot more than any other subject. Hopefully, I’ll be able to switch to something new soon! Either way, I had this revelation that I might be the temporary friend.

I know this subject is very relevant to a lot of people, but like being the single friend, it’s not talked about enough. However, I don’t remember a time where I didn’t feel temporary to someone. I think I’ve always felt replaceable, often because I was replaced quite a few times. When I was younger I hated this, but as I’ve grown, it’s ultimately become something that I’m not so upset about. So, although I don’t know if there’s a one size fits all method of coping, I want to share my thoughts.

Being the temporary friend sucks. There’s really no other way to put it. Sure, I wish I could find the Gayle to my Oprah, and maybe one day I will! However, when you’re like me and you love friendships, it can be a hard pill to swallow. I know I’m not the only one. However, I won’t be the last.

In my piece, Have Your Friends Moved On Without You? I implicitly touch on this subject. The truth of the matter is that adult friendships are sometimes the most difficult friendships to adjust to. There’s really no set rules or boundaries put in place. No instruction manual that tells you how different friendships will be after college. The truth in this is that when you graduate, people really do move on. They get jobs, they develop new relationships, they get new friends. I’m not saying it’s right, but this happens for a lot of people.

I think I used to feel really hurt by this. Seldom meetings, scarce texts, forced conversation. You often feel like your friends aren’t your friends anymore. That’s because in a way they’re not. They’ve changed, they’ve moved on, and they’ve replaced you. However, don’t feel sad about this. There is a silver lining. Remember the good memories, hold them tight, and then release them. Go make new friends, join new clubs, and do new things. Being the temporary friend sucks, but it doesn’t have to be. I used to say that friends come into our lives when we need them the most, and sometimes it can be for a lifetime or just a minute.

Question of the day: What are your thoughts on being the temporary friend? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Photo by Ella Jardim on Unsplash

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