How To Release Others From Your High Expectations

How to release other from your high expectations

I’m a perfectionist. I also have high expectations for other people. Many times I wonder why that is! I think it’s because I put in 110% and I expect others to do the same. The truth is that very rarely do people live up to that potential, even though I think they’re fully capable of doing so. So, what do you do when you have high expectations?

I think when it comes to group projects, I’ve let go of having high expectations of others. In the past, I’ve had group members who have been really great and proactive. Other times, it’s quite the opposite. Right now I’m working on a group project and I have two members who are dragging their feet tremendously. It’s really disheartening because we’re all adults here. We know when deadlines are due and we know what is expected. So, how do you manage high expectations here? I think there’s nothing wrong with being proactive. There is always someone who takes a leaders role. However, it’s important to be a part of a project, not because it’s expected, but because it’s what you’ve signed up for.

So, when it comes to group projects, why is releasing high expectations so much easier? I’m not sure! When it comes to other things like building relationships and connections, it is such a shock when my expectations are let down.

Having high expectations helps you filter out people that you may not want in your life. Click To Tweet

The same goes for friendships! Who has ever had a friend let them down? I have! When I started my blog, it was really a wake-up call when many friends and family members didn’t bother to care or share any of my content. No, they’re not obligated to but I had high expectations that I could count on these people. It was such a letdown!

I want to be able to release people from my high expectations and I’m sure you feel the same. It’s easy to ask why are people like this. It’s sensible to be annoyed by it as well! So, how do we release others from our high expectations?

High expectations isn’t a dirty phrase

Having high expectations is okay! I see nothing wrong with that at all! The key is to minimize your disappointment when they don’t meet them. When I say this I don’t mean when a boyfriend cheats or when a friend blows you off constantly. These are extremes where you should definitely voice how you feel about the situation.

Having high expectations also helps you filter out people that you may not want in your life. I know that I learned that the hard way when friends were just not supportive of Girl In Gamba.

Put in the effort that they put in and nothing more

Have you ever received a ‘hey’ text from a guy that hasn’t bothered to text you in forever? Situations like these are exactly what I mean by putting in equal effort. I know I’ve been tempted to give more effort than others put into a relationship or connection. When you have high expectations, you tend to do that. Remember, not everyone is the same. I know it seems obvious but I get really caught up in my own habits that I forget this.

See the reality

People are who they show you and you should take that at face value. This is a big indicator to see what that person will live up to. Not everyone is going to fit your idea of what you see in them. I see a lot in people but they don’t see it in themselves. It’s really tragic but you can’t make them see it. When someone lets you down, it’s important to not internalize it but just say to yourself, “okay this is how they are and going forward I now know”.

So, in conclusion, high expectations are great because it pushes you to be a better person, but it’s okay to be disappointed when others don’t live up to your high expectations. The key is to not internalize it and let it get you down.

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Question of the day: Do you often have high expectations of others?

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Photo by Christiann Koepke on Unsplash

2 Comments
  1. GG, we have so much in common, we relate on so many levels. I too came across people who haven’t given me the same amount of support as much as I give them, not gonna lie, it’s a yucky feeling. I feel like I’m a giver and people are just takers. But I appreciate those moments because my eyes are wide opened. Instead of getting mad, I redistribute my efforts to others who genuinely appreciate them.

    I liked how you said high expectations isn’t the problem, it’s more about not being too disappointed when people don’t meet them. You always give wise posts, thanks for sharing your wisdom and I definitely support your blog.

    1. I really like that! I think redistributing that energy is so important. I know as a perfectionist, it’s so hard to do that, but it’s really a habit that I need to fully embrace for my sanity haha

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