Does Being A Good Girl Make You A Unicorn?

being a good girl

I get some wild ideas to talk about, but dating advice, woes, and upsets seem to be my thing lately. While on StumbleUpon looking for something to read, I came across this Jezebel article and I braced myself for controversy. It was a response piece to an article that is no longer up to the effect of, “Being A Good Girl Makes You A Unicorn”. Someone has reposted it on Tumblr, so if you’re curious to know the total situation, check it out here. It is written by a man who thinks female sexuality is a sin and that good girls don’t exist.

Related: Why Dating Has Always Sucked

So, why do I care about this? Well, I’ve always considered myself a “good girl”. I’ve always listened to my family, never stayed out late at night when I was in high school, and very rarely did I get into trouble. I always joke about being a unicorn in the sense that I never really had that teenage rebellion phase, and quite frankly I’m a bit old for that now. Nevertheless, people who know me know my opinions and the way I see the world is a bit different.

Creating Value For Yourself

There is nothing wrong with having high value for yourself. I’m not sure if this is a controversial thought as I hate causing controversy. However, I don’t see anything wrong with people holding themselves to high standards. Does this include female purity? I don’t know. Is female purity even a thing? I’m not sure. Every person is different and every person may answer these questions differently. When thinking about this, I don’t know if female purity and being a good girl are even quite the same.

But what exactly is purity?

According to the dictionary, it is freedom from contamination or freedom from immorality.

Then what’s immorality?

Evilness, corruption, dishonesty.

However, we talk about female purity in terms of sexuality, right? The thing is that women are basically doomed in this society. You’re a prude if you don’t give it up and you’re a slut if you do. How horrible is that?

I’m A Good Girl

If you haven’t read my ghosted story, you should! I remember telling the guy that I’m a good girl. Minutes after saying that I thought, “Why am I saying this? What does this even mean?” In that moment, it meant that I wasn’t going to have sex with him. In this context, it perhaps puts sex in the same box as things you do if you want to get in trouble. I’m not sure if it needs to be in that box. This box is essentially corruption. In this sense, if you do engage you’re losing your morality. Of course, I think this is bologna and the guy who wrote the article is definitely creepy for wanting to marry someone who is 18 because they’re still “pure”. Newsflash: no one is completely safe from “corruption” these days.

What we’re getting is just one male perspective here, but it’s a perspective that many women are well aware of. This idea of being a good girl is something we should be for men. This perspective also includes the notion that men are just dogs and when they want to settle down, they’ll go for a good girl. The jury is still out on how I feel about this idea. However, being a good girl doesn’t mean you’re boring either. This guy has got a lot of things wrong in this article.

Just Do You.

What I do know is that I call myself a good girl because I do good things and I’m a good person. Now, whether or not you consider yourself “pure” is a whole other story. However, I am on the team of doing what you want but don’t be reckless. I hold myself to extremely high standards because I’m a perfectionist and I’m picky. This is not a bad thing. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong about doing the exact opposite.

What these two articles seem to come down to is the idea of purity. Look, if you want to classify yourself as being pure, go ahead. If you don’t, that’s fine too. The way I see it, everyone is entitled to calling themselves whatever they want. Everyone is unique, so should we all call ourselves unicorns?

The way I see it, everyone is entitled to calling themselves whatever they want. Click To Tweet
Question of the day: Does female purity exist? Is there anything wrong with being a good girl?

What an incredibly complex issue!

As always, if you like these types of posts or if you are looking for more pieces that will make you think, click here.

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Photo by Alex Holyoake on Unsplash

  1. I think focusing on purity is a harmful message for women, because it focuses their sense of self/their value on something that is at base a personal choice. Whether or not you feel comfortable sleeping with people quickly has no bearing on whether you’re a good person or whether you create positive change in the world, so why do we keep obsessing over it?


  2. This is a very interesting post. I haven’t seen a lot of articles about this topic. Although I’ve never called myself a “good girl” guess that I would get into that category. I would definitely say that “good girl” is somebody who knows theirs values and have a strong opinion. I think that this phrase can usually be used in a bad context which is a shame.

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

  3. The title of this post drew me in right from the beginning. This is such an interesting question; would I consider myself pure? No, but do I think I am a good person? I try to be. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a ‘good girl’ as long as you’re not using the term to put other women down xx

    Jay /

  4. I don’t think they is any right definition of “pure” or “good girl”. They are essentially terms that have been invented by men to control women bodies and coerce them into a certain behavior. There no such thing as a pure or good girl. We all are as long as we stay true to ourselves and live up to our choices. xx corinne

  5. You hear about “female purity” all the time, don’t you? Being a “good girl” is often presented as something to aspire to, and women who deviate from this image of perfection in any way are denigrated and (as you rightly say) are branded sluts! But what about MALE purity? What about a good MAN, who is chaste til marriage and never utters a dirty word? Men are often lauded for the behaviour that women are chastised for! The hypocrisy and double standards make my blood boil! I couldn’t agree more with what you say about just doing you and identifying whoever you choose – if you wanna call yourself a good girl, you go for it! If not, that’s just as valid too! Great post!

    Abbey 😘

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