Why Dating Has Always Sucked For Us

Why Dating Has Always Sucked

What if I told you that horrible dating habits have always existed? Would you believe me? Some time ago I had a friend tell me that dating today sucks. I have to agree that dating today sucks but when you look at the bare fundamentals of dating, dating has always sucked. Now, I know what you’re going to say. But social media makes it so hard to connect with someone. Everyone is always looking around for the next best thing. Well, when you think about it, isn’t that everybody? Really, this “phenomenon” is no different than what our parents’ friends experienced back in the day. “Really?” you may be thinking right now. Yes, really. And I’m going to explain to you why you shouldn’t blame social media and online dating because dating has always sucked.

P.S. We’re stripping down the fluff and getting to the bottom behind why people blame social media for the way we date. This means hardcore facts and stories.

Guys Only Care About Physical Looks Now

Let’s take Chuck Bass, for example. You can argue that he was all about the looks! Actually, according to this academic article, men have cared about the physical for quite some time.

Men were found to be more concerned with the physical characteristics of potential partners and women were more concerned with psychological and personal qualities of a potential partner, such as achievement and intelligence.

So this whole swipe right or left on Tinder is nothing really new. We’ve been judged on our looks for a while now. Ok, well Tinder didn’t exist back in the 80s, did it? So what did? The answer is singles’ magazines. When I was reading this report, I was kind of weirded out by the fact people placed personal ads in singles’ magazines. However, is this any different than placing a few enticing photos on Tinder for many other singles to see?

Men most frequently sought physical beauty and thinness in a partner when placing personal ads in singles’ magazines, whereas women most frequently sought an understanding partner

Isn’t this kind of fascinating. Sure, I hate that physical appearance is super important to a lot of people. However, it has always been like that.

But Ghosting Wasn’t A Thing Before

Boy do I have a revelation for you! Ghosting is not fun but it has always been there. Back in the day, they didn’t call it ghosting, but I think ghosting happened. First, let me preface this with the fact that I’ve been ghosted before and it royally sucks. Need a refresher of what ghosting is? In this context, it’s when two people have been dating and then one party suddenly disappears without any explanation. You would think this stems from social media, right? Well, it comes more from human behavior.

Related: How I Was Ghosted And Why I Wasn’t Good Enough

Related: Having A Summer Romance Is Overrated?

Dr. Nicole L. Cromer, a licensed clinical psychologist based in New York City said, “I think people have been ending relationships badly since the beginning of time”. Say that again for the people in the back. Ghosting is nothing but a repackaged description of crappy human behaviors. Basically, people have always been horrible at being honest with others.

Over the next month, Brian and I spoke on the phone nearly every day and managed to see each other a few more times despite our hectic school schedules. And then it happened: he started the slow fade. Remember, this was the ’90s, so we didn’t have the abundance of technology we do today. It all started with him limiting our already limited means of communication. Whereas he used to call me every night, he stopped initiating. In response, I began calling him and — here’s the ’90s kicker — he would have his mom answer the phone and tell me he’d have to call me back. – Julie Sprankles

Yeah, ghosting sucks. And yeah, dating has always sucked. But it’s nothing new and people have been doing this for years! Can you believe it? This wasn’t caused by Tinder, folks.

How Am I Supposed To Meet People?

I have to admit that online dating isn’t the best thing in the world. It’s kind of like we’re treating people like ordering off a menu, don’t you think? You may be thinking, “Why can’t I just meet someone the old fashion way?” and the truth is that you can. We pass so many people in our daily lives but we’re too preoccupied with other things to notice. I dare you to count the number of people you pass on a normal day and I guarantee you’ll see how many missed opportunities you’ve had.

The thing is that a lot of people are dating online but a lot of people aren’t. Yes, online dating sucks but I could argue that some people suck in general. The idea that competition exists only online is nonsense. You can go to the beach and see competition and temptation. So, dating has always sucked in my mind.

Ultimately, online dating and social media have made it more accessible to connect to people that we wouldn’t have connected with before. Fun fact: 5% of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their significant other online (Pew Research). People have to be meeting somewhere, right?

So, social media and online dating can be good but it can be bad as well. However, it just doesn’t make sense to me to blame online dating and social media for the way we date today when dating has always sucked.

Wanna know why dating has always sucked for us? Pin for later!

Do you think dating has always sucked?

Let me know in the comments what you think about social media, online dating, and whatever else related to this topic!

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22 Comments
  1. This is why I’m glad I’ve not really ‘dated’ I’ve been with my partner for nearly 5 years now and he was my first partner too. I think if I was ever to be single again I’d rip my hair out at men’s dating etiquette 🙁

    sophieannetaylor.com

    1. Haha I think you got lucky! I’m sorry if this post sounds kind of negative. I’m sure not all men have poor dating etiquette because I’ve come across some really sweet guys. I think it’s just a matter of timing and finding the right person.

  2. Haha preach it. Dating can suck, but depending on what you’re looking for and your own mindset on the whole thing, it sucks less or more ☺️

  3. Dating is actually the worst :(. But I agree with you — that’s not because of social media, and it’s definitely not a new phenomenon! It’s just a function of trying to navigate an inherently difficult issue: interpersonal relationships!

    xx
    Emily
    emilyhallock.blogspot.com

  4. Having recently becoming single after two long term relationships I’m not looking forward to dating! I have the exact same feelings as you – how the hell am I meant to meet people and why is ghosting a thing??

    Kayleigh Zara 🌿www.kayleighzaraa.com

  5. I have a love/hate relationship with dating apps. Also, everyone uses their best photographs so even I worry if who I go on a date with is attracted to me once we meet. I do think that it is difficult to meet people nowadays and I dislike online dating but sometimes I need it. I’ve loved your latest post and this one by the way. Really good reads!
    Lois x
    http://www.lifeasloismay.wordpress.com

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words! I have a hate/love relationship with dating apps, but I’ve recently abandoned them all. I mentioned this in my post, but we really do come into contact with people multiple times in our normal lives. I think people are just scared of rejection, which I think is honestly nothing new. I think dating apps have just made the fear of rejection less of an issue if you know what I mean?

  6. I agree, dating isn’t as romantic to how it used to seem. However, I think you have a better chance of meeting new people nowadays that are more unique compared to back then which is why I still think todays dating should just be mixed with back then. A bit of the world wide aspect with the romance and honesty of them days x

  7. I definitely agree that social media has it’s good parts as well as it’s bad. It’s just so easy to meet people now that I guess it makes it harder for a long lasting relationship xx

    Hannah | luxuryblush

  8. Crikey, well at least people can stop blaming it on a particular generation! I don’t have much frame of reference as I haven’t done a great deal of dating but from the stories my friends tell me, it doesn’t differ that much from what I’ve read in historical books!

    1. I 100% agree. I’m totally into history and I don’t think anything compares to King Henry and his many wives and mistresses.

  9. WELL, this is awesome. I find it funny how no matter what ‘era’ of dating we are in, we always think it was easier before. IT’S HARD NO MATTER WHAT. I have to admit that I had never heard of the term of ‘ghosting’ until a week or two ago. It’s awfu but it definitely happens. Fun and unique post!

  10. I love this post I can relate to it so much! Dating these days defo sucks, tinder also sucks, but I recently defo experienced the ghosting when I thought I was seeing someone and it was going good until he randomly blocked me and we haven’t spoken since, why do guys do that! I hope I meet someone soon x

    S x
    SHELISES WORLD

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