What It’s Like Being The Single Friend

being the single friend sucks

Let me start off by saying that I don’t really hate being the single friend. I’m definitely the type of person that believes if it’s meant to be, it will be. I don’t want to rush into anything and I am extremely cautious with who I choose to share my time with. So, I want to be the single friend if being single means that I am waiting for a quality person who I am going to enjoy. However, many of my friends are in relationships. They go out with their boyfriends and post cute pictures. It kind of makes me wish I had something like that. Sure, I’m fairly happy with my singledom, but I get slightly jealous by all of these couples surrounding me, which is why being the single friend sucks.

I recently read this article on Refinery29 about being the single friend. The really hurtful thing that stuck out from the author was that she doesn’t like to surround herself with other single women because she feels like they are competition. Honestly, I think the opposite because as a single woman, I would love to identify with someone who feels the similar pressures I do. I mean it’s starting to be “cuffing season” and couples are in full bloom. On top of this, my friends are always suggesting that I go on dating apps again. Rolls eyes. I’m just too much of a sucker for romance and old-fashioned courting. I’d rather meet someone organically than order up a menu of men who will most likely send me inappropriate messages or unsolicited pictures.

Related: Where To Meet Someone The Old Fashioned Way

One thing I hear from couples is that the dating scene seems so scary now. I’ve written about this and I completely disagree. I think emotional vulnerability is just all around scary. This person could hurt your feelings at any given time, but it can also be the reverse. Dating and even being in a relationship can be an incredibly risky situation that some people just prefer to not be a part of. For a long time, I closed my heart off to guys because I didn’t want to feel that. Then I got busy with school and work and adventures. I didn’t have time for dating or a relationship because I was so focused on reaching my goals. I’m here to tell you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with focusing on you. And as a post-grad woman and fellow single friend, life can be so unpredictable.

Related: Why Dating Has Always Sucked

I don’t plan to stay where I am for much longer. I dream of moving somewhere else after I finish my degree. Even though I want to be in a relationship, this person will have to understand that I can’t put my dreams on hold for them. In the same breath, I do want to go on cute dates and take pictures. What I don’t want to do is put him first.

One time I had an argument with a friend who I felt was putting her boyfriend ahead of our friend group. As the single friend, it seemed like she only wanted to hang out with him and didn’t really care to hang out with the rest of us. Has this ever happened to you? In my eyes, friends (and most importantly family) are always going to be there.

In my eyes, friends are always going to be there... Click To Tweet

Perhaps it is quite cynical of me to think that and maybe I will change my mind, but there definitely needs to be a balance. I never want to feel like I’m the second choice when it comes to making plans and I would never want someone else to feel like they’re the second choice. Honestly, I don’t think it’s right or fair. I know my fellow single friends have felt this before! Isn’t it a bit annoying when you feel like you always have to be the proactive one?

I know I will have my fairytale ending but it will come at the right time. If you’re like me and you’re the single friend, just know that although it may suck, you should still give yourself a pat on the back. We are still young and having amazing experiences ahead of us. I’ve learned to not be so down about not having a boyfriend because it’s honestly not everything. I still have amazing friends, an amazing family, and I still do amazing things. So, enjoy all your free time, fellow single friend!

Question of the day: How do you feel about being the single friend? What advice would you give a fellow single friend?

As always, if you like these types of posts or if you are looking for more pieces that will make you think, click here.

Follow Girl In Gamba and share this post on Facebook, TwitterInstagram, and Pinterest!

Follow on Bloglovin


Photo by Aral Tasher on Unsplash

  1. Oh, I needed this post! I’ve always been the single friend but didn’t look at myself that way until I started wanting a relationship and all my friends had boyfriends. I’ve truly loved being single, but it’s frustrating when you no longer want to be and are having trouble finding a relationship. Patience is a virtue as they say!

  2. I’ve been single for all my life and never been in a serious relationship. Meeting men in my country is really hard and I am considered intimidating where I’m from. Nobody really asks me out. I feel like a weirdo but when I’m travelling, people ask me out all the time. Never becomes serious though as I have to go back to Asia. My life is really full with work and friends. I just feel weird among couples and I’ve stopped attending events cause I’m the only one not in a couple and it feels really awkward.

    1. Hi Zoe! I can totally relate! I say don’t worry about it and take time to focus on the things that will help you grow as a person. Thank you so much for reading!

    1. Yes! I absolutely agree Laura! I don’t mind being the single friend either, but it can be a bit frustrating when relationships are all around you and you feel like you don’t really fit in or that your friends are blowing you off for their boyfriends. I definitely think there needs to be a balance!

  3. Being the single friend is definitely something I can relate to ahah. I don’t mind though, I think it’s definitely important to take a break and focus on yourself sometimes.


Leave a Reply