So, not too long ago, I read a post from one of my favorite bloggers, Chloe Plumstead at The Little Plum. Her particular post was about what she learned about friendship after not speaking to her best friend for a year. At Girl In Gamba, I’ve talked about friendships, most notably being the single friend and how to handle arguments with friends. So I, too, have learned a lot about friendships, specifically about friendships as a post-grad.
In Chloe’s post, she talks about how she felt like her best friend was putting others before her. I have to agree that I’ve felt the same and it’s really hard to stomach when you hold others to such high expectations. Post-grad friendships are something that is a bit tricky. However, like I’ve mentioned before, it is so important to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but some understanding is necessary, especially when navigating friendships as a post-grad.
One thing that really struck a chord with me was when Chloe writes, “arguing with your friends in your twenties is a strange arrangement”. This is so so true! You can’t really (nor should you be) petty. Friendships as a post-grad are really about mature communication. I think there’s this idea that you have to approach every argument that way and I do agree to an extent. I’ve found that you’ve got to pick your battles. For example, I’ve had friends that have been constantly flakey or just have completely ignored my texts. Here, I think it’s wise to not try to start an argument about it. Rather the mature thing is to try to understand why this person is constantly dropping plans or not answering your texts.
Arguing with your friends in your twenties is a strange arrangement.
Like Chloe’s situation and mine, it can be a hard pill to swallow when you feel like you’re being betrayed. Sometimes arguments can be too drastic to repair friendships as a post-grad. Other times, they can be repaired like Chloe writes. I’ve learned that friendships as a post-grad are so much more incredibly complex. But do they have to be?
Last year, I reflected on something similar in my post about knowing who your friends are. I think I’ve arrived at a similar conclusion like Chloe. If you think a friendship is worth saving, then be the bigger person and reach out to that person. However, if you’re like me and you’re scared of being hurt again, especially when it comes to friendships that had deep roots, know that it’s ok if you need to walk away for a while. Friendships as a post-grad can be intense but they are also important to your support system. Only you know which ones you want or need to keep.
Question of the day: What tips do you have for navigating friendships as a post-grad?
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