I’ve been a post-grad for about two years now and I can say that I still don’t know the secret to adult or post-grad friendships. However, I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way. So, when deciding on what to write about, I found myself constantly going to this topic. I think it can be very hard to maintain post-grad friendships because you often find yourself going in a different direction than your friends. Some friends are getting married, some are in law school, and some are still trying to figure things out. Basically, post-grad friendships can be somewhat of a mystery, heartache, and confusion for many people. Just know you’re not alone.
Figure Out Your Friendship Priority
When I graduated college I had to move away from most of my friend group. It was a hard pill to swallow when I realized that my plans weren’t exactly going the way I thought they should have gone. So, whenever I visited my friends, I had to think about who would be most important to see since I had limited time.
Another mention is the way they treat you. I have friends that fail to answer my text messages, they flake on me, or they just are always busy. I think you really have to evaluate friendship priority when you want to maintain post-grad friendships. This is because you may want friends who are going to want to hang out with you and talk to you when they can. If a friend tells you that they’re always busy but you see them hanging out with someone else and doing what you suggested, I would say that’s a red flag.
You Have To Put In Effort To Maintain Post-Grad Friendships
I cannot stress this enough! I know it can be easy to fall into everyday life and just forget about your friends. For me, it was a huge transition not seeing or talking to the same people who I use to every day. However, even though your life may be filled with more complex situations, you still have to put in effort to maintain post-grad friendships.
When I say effort I mean try to meet up with that person or if you’re thinking about them in a moment, don’t be afraid to say something. A simple, “Hey, thought of you today! Hope your day is going well!” could really go a long way. What I’m saying is that the friends you had in college are going to be on completely different schedules. We’re no longer meeting up in the quad or in the student life center anymore. So, put in a little bit more effort than what you had to do before if you truly care about those friendships.
Know When You Have To Move On
I think one of the hardest things for me is to move on from friendships. If you’re a long-time reader, then you know that I’ve had my fair share of lessons. From being the single friend to dealing with arguments with friends, there are a lot of things that have inspired me to cover the topic of friendships. I believe I even wrote a post about how post-grad friendships are so complex. It’s true, they are! However, one valuable piece I’ve learned is that it’s okay to move on.
Moving on doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end of the friendship. It could mean a break in the friendship too. Sometimes it’s a good idea to have these breaks when a friendship doesn’t seem like it’s salvageable anymore. What I mean by this is that if you’re constantly reaching out to someone and you’re just not getting anything in return, it’s okay to move on. I know this doesn’t sound like a tip to maintain post-grad friendships but in a way, I think it is.
To maintain post-grad friendships you do have to know when to back off and give someone space. However, there is no guarantee that you’ll talk to the person again. I do believe in fate and things will happen the way they’re meant to.
Question of the day: What are your tips to maintain post-grad friendships?
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People. one thing. be selective with whom you spend you time and who you take as a friend, colleagues and even neighbours. It might not seem like it but all of those people can affect your destiny. They become a part of your life. The key is to keep company only with peaple who uplift you, whose presence calles for your best. no matter how egoistic or selfish this might sound it is also so very true.