I’m Not Interested In Having A Relationship, And That’s Okay

I'm not interested in having a relationship

I want to get straight to the point. I’m not interested in having a relationship and I’ve been struggling with whether I’m okay with that. I struggle with the pressures around me, which makes me feel like we’re coming full circle since my “Being The Single Friend” post.

In my post about being the single friend, I talked about being the only person in my friend group that’s not in a relationship. I have to admit that it can be a bit hard and although I don’t want a relationship at all, I still feel the pressure. In all honesty, I think the pressure is the worst part. I’ve noticed that so many of my friends are either in relationships or they want to be. So, they’re on dating apps and/or they’re experiencing cuffing season. It can be pretty easy to feel like an outcast compared to your friends, which is why I’ve struggled with this whole internal conflict.

I personally feel like I’m not ready for a relationship. I like being selfish right now because I can focus on my dreams and the things that I want for myself. Even though, I know some people will argue that you can have both, I just don’t think that’s possible, at least not for me. From my experience, relationships cloud your judgment when you’re in transitionary periods, which is where I am. I think they tend to hold people back from their full potential. However, you can argue this for having a social life.

Whenever I feel a wave of inadequacy that feels like a punch to the face, I have to stop and remind myself of what it is that I really want.

When I think back to my life as an undergrad, I think of how much more productive I could’ve been if I had given up my social life, if I had stopped caring what other people were doing. I now find myself making so many sacrifices in those aspects. I’m far more focused and driven than I’ve ever been, even though I was driven before. I get so much more done now without the unnecessary baggage. However, when confronted with the reality that everyone around me is or wants to be in a relationship makes me feel a bit lost.

So, I’ve come to a conclusion. Whenever I feel a wave of inadequacy that feels like a punch to the face, I have to stop and remind myself of what it is that I really want. It is that I don’t want a relationship and that’s okay.

As a bit of advice, I want to tell you that if you feel like me, just know that you’re not a weirdo for not being interested in having a relationship. So many people get caught up in the feeling of being with someone that they don’t see that we have so much time to be in a relationship. I have a lifetime but I won’t be this young again.

Question of the day: Are you someone who is not interested in having a relationship? Share your thoughts!

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  1. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting a relationship and focusing on yourself. I hate it when people say that’s selfish or pressuring to get into a relationship. Personally, I love being in a relationship but I also understand myself enough that there are periods in my life where I’m not interested in a relationship so I can solely focus on myself.

    I’m in a relationship right now but prior to meeting my current boyfriend, I was so, so, so productive as you mentioned. I think there’s a shift of energy and perspective when you’re in a relationship vs when you’re focusing on yourself.

    1. Hi Claire! Thank you so much for reading! I think you hit the nail on the head here. There’s definitely a shift of perspective. For me, it would just be unfair to myself and a significant other to be in a relationship right now. I really feel like I need to work on myself and the things I really want to do before sharing my attention with another person. I hope that makes sense!

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