I am and forever will be a hopeless romantic. In fact, I used to spend a lot of my time dreaming of Prince Charming. Believe me when I say that I used to draw hearts in my notebooks while daydreaming about my crushes. Then college came and I became extremely distracted by school and all of the experiences. So, fast forward to now, I no longer have a notebook filled with hearts. My days of dreaming about Prince Charming have slowly started to fade. I like the idea of love but it’s not necessarily something I strive to have anymore. I’ve grown out of that feeling and the older I get, the more I feel like being in a relationship isn’t worth it.
So, how did a hopeless romantic turn into a jealous hater? I ask myself that a lot but the thing is that I’m not a hater. I think relationships are incredibly complex and can become incredibly messy. Additionally, I am only 23 and I have a lifetime to be in a relationship with someone. For me, a relationship isn’t worth all the headache. Although I do love to care about people, I know that I couldn’t possibly be in a relationship now.
Now, I was at a cool Halloween party a few weeks ago. The party was thrown by an old friend of mine and her boyfriend. Together they make a wonderful couple and they have such an interesting dynamic. I can say that they seem to do a good job in working together. However, I couldn’t help to think that I’m not ready for a relationship right now and that being in a relationship isn’t worth it. Here’s why!
1) Old Married Couple Syndrome
A lot of the time, it seems like couples who have passed the honeymoon phase are so comfortable with each other. I think there’s something beautiful in that, but it reminds me of being older. It seems that many times these relationships read like an old married couple. Although there’s nothing wrong with that, I don’t think I want to be in such a situation like that anytime soon. Well, for one, I’m essentially scared to grow up. However, I enjoy my youth and I don’t want to be old before I’m actually old!
Whenever I think about people in relationships acting like an old married couple, it’s really sweet. On the other hand, it makes me cringe. I think for me, a relationship isn’t worth it if two people want to stay inside all the time. I think if I were in a relationship, I would want to go out and travel. Even though I love to stay inside in my bed, I love doing things and going on adventures. I think doing what you want inside of a relationship is possible, but I can’t deny that it is far easier when you don’t have to take into account the feelings of someone else.
2) Not As Much Freedom
There is no one size fits all model when it comes to a relationship, but I can’t exactly get up and leave for France tomorrow if I were in a relationship. Theoretically, I could but being the person I am, I would feel bad for not telling my significant other that I’m off an I don’t know when I’m coming back. The other issue that comes about is long distance relationships. I don’t plan to stay where I am forever, but especially not 8 months from now. Being in a relationship isn’t worth it to me given that fact, which is why I tried (and failed) casual dating.
3) Too Much Headache
A lot of the time, I feel like a chicken running around with its head cut off. From assignments due for class to keeping up with my blog schedule, I have a lot on my plate. However, perhaps it’s not because I have a lot going on, but rather my priorities aren’t focused on having a significant other. I will admit that I do feel pressure sometimes to be in a relationship, but for the most part, I love being single. Being in a relationship isn’t worth for me because it would be another thing to juggle in my life.
Did I mention that I’m not good at juggling? When I used to crave being in a relationship as a teenager, my mom would tell me that boys would just distract me. I didn’t really believe it until later on. I think if I weren’t in grad school, things would be different. However, school and getting a job needs to be my first priority. I already get distracted by things now, I can’t imagine being distracted by a relationship.
So, there are many reasons why I think being in a relationship isn’t worth it. I know not everyone will agree with me, but that’s okay. I think it’s important to note that relationships work great for some people. For me, it’s just not the time right now. I’ve also been scared by friends who haven’t been in the greatest relationships. Seeing that emotional toll definitely adds to my opinion that being in a relationship isn’t worth it.
Question of the day: Do you think a relationship isn’t worth it? What are your thoughts?
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Having just split from being in a 2 and a half year relationship I can say it’s definitely worth it. I totally agree with many of the same things you said you but when you find someone all of this seems to feel like nothing. I do agree that waiting till your older is better though, i didn’t and it’s probably made me waaay less independent. Great post x
LoneTeenTraveller | Travel Fashion Lifestyle
I’d say it’s totally worth it, yet some things you mentioned are definitely a part of being in a relationship. I used to think like you – being 20 and haven’t had my first relationship yet – until I met someone at 21. But since our story is not even near the typical love story, it’s been even harder yet rewarding. The part I will agree with is having to juggle all these things at once – freaking impossible. Uni, blog and now a boyfriend?? Of course I want to spend all my time with him! I think we both forgot our priorities for like a month but now trying to go back on track.
Anyways, I used to say that I don’t need anyone and I don’t care about relationships but this has to be one of the best things that’s happened to me – just having to juggle it and take care of such a fragile thing is an artform by itself. It’s also definitely worth the wait so while there’s no point to rush now, I think it’s so worth taking the chance once it comes up xx
Vika ¶ VICKYBUB.COM
For me it is. I have had my share of failed relationships but I am not giving up hope. Don’t get me wrong, I am not expecting it right now – I am not – but when it happens then it does. I love being able to share a part of my life with someone but I also need a lot of time for myself, so it takes a special guy to accept it.
I completely understand! I think it will take a special guy for me as well. I’m very very independent so the right guy is going to have to be okay with this. Thank you for reading! Xx
I think that if you find the right person then relationships are definitely worth it, but relationships shouldn’t be forced. It’s not worth it when it seems like you have to be in a relationship and so you just pick up the next guy that seems okay. A while ago I was kind of experimenting with dating and using dating apps and I realized that relationships were way too much work for me. About a month after I had deleted the app, I met someone and it isn’t work with them. Of course sometimes it gets hard, but it’s not work. Forcing relationships is work and it’s not worth it, but when you find the right person it’ll be worth it.
Great post! also girl, you do you!
I think you bring up a really good point that I didn’t consider when writing this! I definitely agree with what you’re saying!
I think it’s good you realize you aren’t interested in a relationship. Additionally, you have to find what works for you. I think being young and flipping between relationships is smart simply because you grow and learn from them but, as I said, it isn’t for everyone.
S .x https://samsramblings91.blogspot.com/
I definitely think dating and relationships is a different experience that comes at different times for everyone. For me, I think I just have too much going on. Thanks for reading and commenting, Samantha!