I am and forever will be a hopeless romantic. In fact, I used to spend a lot of my time dreaming of Prince Charming. Believe me when I say that I used to draw hearts in my notebooks while daydreaming about my crushes. Then college came and I became extremely distracted by school and all of the experiences. So, fast forward to now, I no longer have a notebook filled with hearts. My days of dreaming about Prince Charming have slowly started to fade. I like the idea of love but it’s not necessarily something I strive to have anymore. I’ve grown out of that feeling and the older I get, the more I feel like being in a relationship isn’t worth it.
So, how did a hopeless romantic turn into a jealous hater? I ask myself that a lot but the thing is that I’m not a hater. I think relationships are incredibly complex and can become incredibly messy. Additionally, I am only 23 and I have a lifetime to be in a relationship with someone. For me, a relationship isn’t worth all the headache. Although I do love to care about people, I know that I couldn’t possibly be in a relationship now.
Now, I was at a cool Halloween party a few weeks ago. The party was thrown by an old friend of mine and her boyfriend. Together they make a wonderful couple and they have such an interesting dynamic. I can say that they seem to do a good job in working together. However, I couldn’t help to think that I’m not ready for a relationship right now and that being in a relationship isn’t worth it. Here’s why!
1) Old Married Couple Syndrome
A lot of the time, it seems like couples who have passed the honeymoon phase are so comfortable with each other. I think there’s something beautiful in that, but it reminds me of being older. It seems that many times these relationships read like an old married couple. Although there’s nothing wrong with that, I don’t think I want to be in such a situation like that anytime soon. Well, for one, I’m essentially scared to grow up. However, I enjoy my youth and I don’t want to be old before I’m actually old!
Whenever I think about people in relationships acting like an old married couple, it’s really sweet. On the other hand, it makes me cringe. I think for me, a relationship isn’t worth it if two people want to stay inside all the time. I think if I were in a relationship, I would want to go out and travel. Even though I love to stay inside in my bed, I love doing things and going on adventures. I think doing what you want inside of a relationship is possible, but I can’t deny that it is far easier when you don’t have to take into account the feelings of someone else.
2) Not As Much Freedom
There is no one size fits all model when it comes to a relationship, but I can’t exactly get up and leave for France tomorrow if I were in a relationship. Theoretically, I could but being the person I am, I would feel bad for not telling my significant other that I’m off an I don’t know when I’m coming back. The other issue that comes about is long distance relationships. I don’t plan to stay where I am forever, but especially not 8 months from now. Being in a relationship isn’t worth it to me given that fact, which is why I tried (and failed) casual dating.
3) Too Much Headache
A lot of the time, I feel like a chicken running around with its head cut off. From assignments due for class to keeping up with my blog schedule, I have a lot on my plate. However, perhaps it’s not because I have a lot going on, but rather my priorities aren’t focused on having a significant other. I will admit that I do feel pressure sometimes to be in a relationship, but for the most part, I love being single. Being in a relationship isn’t worth for me because it would be another thing to juggle in my life.
Did I mention that I’m not good at juggling? When I used to crave being in a relationship as a teenager, my mom would tell me that boys would just distract me. I didn’t really believe it until later on. I think if I weren’t in grad school, things would be different. However, school and getting a job needs to be my first priority. I already get distracted by things now, I can’t imagine being distracted by a relationship.
So, there are many reasons why I think being in a relationship isn’t worth it. I know not everyone will agree with me, but that’s okay. I think it’s important to note that relationships work great for some people. For me, it’s just not the time right now. I’ve also been scared by friends who haven’t been in the greatest relationships. Seeing that emotional toll definitely adds to my opinion that being in a relationship isn’t worth it.
Question of the day: Do you think a relationship isn’t worth it? What are your thoughts?
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